DESIGNATION and a BABY !!!

THIS IS WHAT I LEARNT !!!!

Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

Phew!!!! And i deal with the technicalities involved in producing a baby!!!!! ;)

- Manjunath Chenna

DEATH- I have seen it!!!

I saw it, I saw death, exactly at 9:35 pm, 11th october 2008 !!!
I am in no mood to fool around, and this ain't a joke folks......I saw the bare truth, the reality in front of me, the darker side of the darkness. Don't ask me how, coz i have no answers for that!!! Its one experience you can never forget. And going through it cant be described in words.
You have no control over your senses, no vision, no smell,no taste, no touch, no listening, no nothing. You feel like the lightest thing in the universe, no thoughts, no notions, no worries, not even the face of the lovely girl i met a week ago!!! It was like a movie with no sound, on a black screen, and you watching it while on a free fall !!!

I saw it, damn, i am still drenched in cold sweat when i imagine it!!!

Ask me, coz you can't ask a dead man about it, this is exactly how it feels before dying.

and

for those religious, devout, pious people out there


I didn't see Mr. YAMARAJ

What if my dad finds out ???

Earthquake!!! Tsunami!!! Hurricane!!! Typhoon!!! Flood!!! Cloudburst!!!
I am running out of words for the event that is gonna happen if my dad will ever find out that a drop of alcohol has dripped down my throat into my tummy in my consciousness. I spend all my free time in making a B-Plan to make big bucks and the rest of the time thinking of how to tell my dear dad about me having done something what he thinks is a sin. I have no clue about how he is gonna react. All i know is that i am dead, fired in the ass, and kicked out of the balcony!!! Save me *sigh*

CURTAINS OPEN!!! SCENE OF MY DAD AND ME IN THE BALCONY, MOM BRINGS US TROPICANA(ITS HEALTHY YOU KNOW). DAD IS READING NEWSPAPER WITH HIS DESIGNER GLASSES WITH A SILVER CHAIN HANGING IN A PARABOLIC CURVE. THIS IS A SCENE DURING MY WINTER VACATIONS DURING MY FIRST YEAR!!!

THAT WAS WHEN I DECIDED TO TELL DAD ABOUT MY DEEDS AT COLLEGE!!!

"YEAH!! I CAN DO IT!!! NO POINT KEEPING IT TO MYSELF!!! I'LL TELL HIM TODAY" i said to myself
i took a deep breath and started

ME: Dad, you know what!!
DAD: what now??
ME: we have severe ragging in my college, but i enjoyed it.
DAD: good then!!
(and started reading his newspaper)
Me: they make us do weird stuff, damn embarassing
DAD: I know that, you deserve it, u've showed no positive changes in 6 months of college. You've turned even worse!!
ME: C'mon dad, its not like that
DAD: what do they ask you to do??
(HAHA, time to tell him, lemme blame it on my seniors.....)
ME: my seniors are very bad, DAD, u know what, they force juniors to drink!!!
DAD: Whaaaaaaaa??
ME: yep, dad (smiling)
DAD: I am gonna call your director, gimme the names, i'll get em suspended....bla bla...
ME: one day, they made us stand us in a line with glasses in our hands!!!
DAD: huh??
ME: they asked us to drink vodka one by one, it was with cold drink(eyes facing somewhere)
(MOM in action)
MOM: Did you drink beta??(with a brooding face!!!)
DAD: did you??(he was almost gonna kill me)


(meri phat gayi thi!!! I was almost pissing in my jockey!!! the time was when i could have made an impact, lighten the load on me!! I could have said it!! i cant keep it in my stomach for long!! i had a feeling of guilt which i could take anymore!! i took a huge breath, took a quick look at my dad and my mom....didnt know how to reply, "FUCK" i said to myself, i shouldnt have started this topic.Milli seconds passed by and i had to react!!! i LAUGHED, LAUGHED LOUDER!!!)


ME: *laughs* I spilt the whole glass when the senior was seeing the other guy and told him that i finished it!! he was impressed!!! i got a treat from him!!! I escaped the trouble without much pain!!! lol
DAD: good, i expected it out of you!!! the next time anybody forces you, just gimme a call and i'll................
(mom hugged me!!!)

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!
BRAVO!!!!
HELP ME!!!!!

DARU KE THEKE !!!

Well Well Well
ISM isn't ISM without the Daru ke theke nearby. Most of the ISMites are concerned about the opening of these holy outlets selling holy liquids at holy hours. There have been square table meetings all over the hostel with each guy giving his own kokas of a date proposed for the opening. Well i heard it was july 25th, then it became aug 1st,then independence day, argggh.....september has come.....no scene of anything happening.

People are having this phobia of a thought of Dhanbad being a DRY city. Damn. I will never ever go to IIM A for Ahmedabad is a dry city.And i can never ever imagine of me being alive in such a place. Two months of torture has already had a maxima. We are on our peaks. Never before in the history of my college have people spent so much bucks on EQUATOR< SKYLARK< STATUS< KHALSA(banned)....We are craving for the theke to open. Well the pubs here are making big bucks, Pub managers throwing attitude (We were denied admission at skylark coz we called the manager a waiter....lol). I never believe in god and have a thousand reasons for that, but if the theke do open in a week, i swear i'm gonna turn into a priest.

Gone are those days when we did have our best time with booze in the basketball court, the perfect ambiance which perhaps we will get nowhere on this planet. Maybe under the tree near ISL, on the terrace of Sapphire....on the water tank....damn, i am beginning to miss those days. The daru parties we had in our wings disturbing all the bookworm bitches of the hostel and filling the smoke in the air. I still remember the best new year party which we celebrated with a huge bonfire and 20 bacchanal dudes of the college having a rocking time. Once again thanx to the theke. How about the scene in srijan rockers when the bacchanal dudes were flying high having no clue whether its day or night. It was the Theke again which made it happen.

These are the sentiments of an occasional mild drinker. If there is any of my dear relative reading this blog, PLEASE don't mail the link of this URL to my dad. I am ready to bribe you for that!!!

LOVE LETTER BY A MATHEMATICIAN

My Dear Love,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in
trigonometric
lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face,
conical nose and
spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you
my heart was a null set, but when a vector of
magnitude (likeness) from
your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a
tangent to my heart, it got
differentiated infinitesimally.
Hence
my heart which was a null set intersected your heart and is waiting
for a union.
The probability of me having fallen in love with you
is unity
and will remain a constant function
throughout my life


My love for you is a strictly increasing function which is of a form of a quadratic equation with real
roots, which you can solve by
making good binary relation with me.
The cosine of my
love for you extends to infinity which negates its property of being less than unity. I promise that I
will not resolve
you into partial functions but if I do so, you can
integrate me by parts applying
the limits from zero to infinity.You are as essential
to me as an
element of a set. The geometry of my life revolves
around your acute
personality.
You have Laplace transformed me into a new homo sapien.
Our relationship
is a smooth curve which is
continuous and differentiable at every finite point




GOD SAVE THIS MATHEMATICIAN !!!

Cram and mug!!!

" Cram and Mug
on the bed, in the rug
make your brain a jug
why need a drug??
even after a good hard slug!!!
"failed"-no need to shrug
put on your ear plug
and
Cram and mug"

Hey this poem composed using some rhyming words in 5 minutes looks so kiddish, but has some deep hidden meaning, which the hidden philosopher in me is trying to decipher. This is a futile effort of an unsuccessful candidate who failed to understand the way you need to counter a semester exam conducted in India's one of the most exalted institutions.

I had a dream, a dream of a perfect institution, something different from others.Where you are evaluated by your brain and intellect. The dream came crashing when i realized that what the system evaluates is just the Cache memory in your brain, and the efficiency of it to keep data in the memory for a period of one day before the exams and format it for use in the next exam. Whenever this fruitful realization compels me to refresh my cache memory and increase my random access memory(RAM), i realized that all i have is a ROM{read only memory}, and hard copies aren't allowed in the exam.

Please forgive me for writing this shit in a typical IITian slang language, it may take some time and a computer dictionary for a non technocrat to load the data in his database.

I am trying to exterminate the frustration, frustration caused by the whole system. When everything goes wrong with me, it may point me to a conclusion that there must be something gravely wrong with myself. I am not perfect. No one is, as a matter of fact. My only fault is that i hate mugging which screws me bad and ugly every time. Why can't we have some innovative approaches. Something different, maybe even i don't have a clue about it. But the system needs a serious change. Muggers have never changed the world;Every discovery, every invention, every breakthrough was initiated by someone who thought out of the box.I know that this blog is just another brick in the wall. A wall which is painted black, where my pencil can't make a mark. I know its tough, and will have to cope up with the system the way it is. Else it may cost me more than my pockets can afford.

Break the rules, screw the old profs, slaughter Arjun Singh and co.- these are maybe some things i'd like to do if i wase "invisible".

Hey i am "invincible".

WIERDO RELATIONSHIPS

Relationship
a word bugging many of my buddies. You know what, this word has been driving the whole teen crowd insane. I have always pondered about what it actually means. But i have always concluded that its just a complex way to spend your precious time, money and peace of mind. This topic is not out from my spontaneous self but actually provoked by some of my inmates of the fairer sex. My comment on their thoughts and emotions would be
"Exaggeration",
as even we feel the same about them.

Chics dwell a wrong notion that boys are always after em'. Each bird has two wings, without which it can't fly.The whole bf-gf chapter is supported by both the sexes no doubt, whatsoever.So there is no point blaming each other of being more desperate to have a relationship. How come there are relationships existing if they were one sided.Being diplomatic , there is no need for icing on the cake, lets accept the fact.Lets not instill any controversy or a heated-debate.We respect your thoughts and expect the same from you.

My 18 years of coed school life has taken me on a roll, and i have seen many chapters right in front of my eyes with myself in a lead role in some of em'.Actually a relationship is more linked to fame ahead of the emotions associated with them. One would certainly fly high being associated to a "hottie". A relationship is actually induced by the "J" effect and peer pressure. "My best friend has a gf, why not me??"-a most common question ambling in ones mind.Having a gf is an issue, moving around together is an issue, how long we hang up on phone is an issue, how much money the poor guy pours is an issue, and most importantly how much the relationship has proceeded in magnitude is an issue.However i do not emphasize on the magnitude, It all depends from person to person as to what he/she sets as a datum for satisfaction.Basically its the popularity a relationship grabs, which is a matter of pride for the couple, even though they don't speak out loud.Popularity here should not be taken in the wrong sense.But we do come across couples who don't get into such stuff.But this is what i see in public schools in metros where i have spent all my life. Its as simple as that, i would love to tell the world, the whole college, the whole peer group that i am a stupid boyfriend of a witty girlfriend who is instilling stupidity in me, and the fact is that guys like to act obtuse.

Ask me the truth, people are not desperate to get into relationships, but this desperation is being induced somehow.The word has produced musical vibrations in the air. Each and every person wants to experience and discover the truth behind a relationship. They get desperate to know why others are desperate to have a relationship.Once they are into a relationship, they get matured enough and think ten times before ending up in a new one. There is just a lack of maturity.Most importantly a relationship must be treated the way it has to be. One doesn't be too emotive, Come on folks its just another relationship. If you are into a relationship, it doesn't mean that you'll go on to marital status.Decisions at the later part of your life needs a thinking, but linking this to a teeny relationship is the height of immaturity.No use giving a damn about not having one. Take some experienced words, you are better off alone. No use getting exasperated, and showing your frustration .Remember the desperation is equal from both the sides except for the fact the boys accept it{mostly}, and the chics act as if they are gratified being alone.

I also share a view that there is absolutely nothing wrong in a relationship.After all even we are humans and we love to love and be loved.Yeah, accept the fact that its stupidity, but there are millions of stupids in this world, don't tell me that this futility is at the last resort. Then why make such a big fuss about something which is kinda happening everywhere. India is a culture which dwells love and emotions, then why make a fuss about it. The attitude needs a change.A relationship is no big deal mind you. Its in the air, just inhale it and exhale, no need to think before you breathe. Some things happen with us just for the sake of it. If a relationship is foolish, the world is full of fools.

gimme a break, wait a second, did i call myself a fool??